This post was written by our Resident Sexual Health Clinician, Dr. Kathryn Ellis, OTR/L, OTD, AASECT-SC, an occupational therapist and American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists Certified Sexuality Counselor. If you'd like her to answer your questions, submit them at the end of this page.
Having sex in locations outside of the bedroom is a great way to add novelty and excitement to the sexual relationship. When you have sex in the same location every time, this can sometimes lead to having sex in the same way every time. So having sex in a new location can also be a good exercise in learning new ways you feel pleasure in your body.
Oftentimes people with disabilities have to consider multiple factors when they have sex to make the experience comfortable and fun for them. This can sometimes make it difficult to consider being sexual in different locations when the environment is less familiar, such as in a car or on a park bench.
Specifically for amputees, they can often wonder “do I leave my prosthetic on or take it off?” or “will I be safe and able to balance in a new setting?”
Below are some suggestions for amputees to make having sex in new locations fun and comfortable.
Getting frisky in a car
Hooking up in a car can be really fun because it comes with the excitement and impatience to not wait until you get home. And while penetrative sex might be difficult in a car due to space limitations, sex such as oral or fingering could be easier.
Amputees may find it easier to leave their prosthetic on when hooking up in a car because there are space constraints or because in “the heat of the moment,” it’s not necessary to take it off.
Further, moving to the backseat is a great way of improving the experience since there’s more room available. It will be easier to position and have fun.
Park bench canoodling session
A park bench canoodling session is a fun way to share hugs, kisses, and flirtation. The aspect of being in public makes a couple have to figure out ways to be coy and flirty without being overtly sexual. This can be a fun way to practice banter, teasing each other, and kissing.
Additionally, folks with limb loss or a limb difference have shared that being affectionate in public for the first few times with a new partner is a good way to vet if they are comfortable being alone with them in a private setting for sex.
Shower sex is always a topic of conversation among people with limb loss/ a limb difference. Most prosthetics cannot go in the shower, so people are in there without their prosthetic to add to stability. Plus, it’s a wet, slipper environment.
While standing sex is a reality for people with lower leg limb loss/ a limb difference, standing shower sex can be quite dangerous!
My recommendation is almost always to use a shower chair so one or both partners can remain seated. A lower extremity amputee can sit on the shower chair while stimulating their partners genitals with their hands.
Or if the amputee has an upper extremity limb loss/ limb difference, they can consider purchasing a water proof sex toy to bring into the shower.
Adaptations to sexual positions should always take into account the limb loss/ limb difference and what the person likes to do sexually, so the above suggestions aren’t the only suggestions that might work for you.
However, I hope they provide some help on how to explore sex in different locations, so that you can apply any takeaways to your situation and try locations you’re curious about having sex in.